The Doctor has visited the twin planets of Androzani Major and Androzani Minor a few times in Doctor Who. His first adventure on Androzani Minor, involving an underground war, rare elements and gun-running, was a dangerous escapade that resulted in his regeneration and almost cost the life of his companion Peri. The Caves of Androzani is one of the most popular Doctor Who stories ever made. The Doctor later encountered Androzani Trees in The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe who were keen to escape deforestation!
The Caves of Androzani
★★★★★
TX: 08/03/1984 – 16/03/1984
Written by Robert Holmes Directed by Graeme Harper
The Fifth Doctor and Peri land on the planet Androzani Minor during the middle of an underground war. The army led by General Chellak are pushing ahead to defeat a fugitive called Sharaz Jek and his army of androids. Jek controls the planet’s supply of Spectrox, the most valuable substance in the universe. When refined, Spectrox can be used to make an elixir that holds the key to eternal youth. A personal feud between Jek and the businessman Morgus on Androzani Major has led to the war. The Doctor and Peri touch a raw Spectrox nest and are infected with Spectrox toxaemia, which is fatal. Salateen, a fellow prisoner of Jek’s, tells the Doctor and Peri that they have a few days to live. The Doctor and Peri narrowly avoid being executed by the army and being shot at by Jek’s androids. Jek values beauty above all else because he is hideously disfigured and therefore wears a mask. So Jek decides to keep Peri to admire her beauty! Jek’s tragic character is very similar to The Phantom of the Opera. The Doctor is captured by a group of mercenaries sent by Morgus to recover the Spectrox from Jek in exchange for weapons. Morgus is secretly financing the war to keep the price of Spectrox high on the market and therefore line his own pockets. The Doctor discovers when he communicates with Morgus. Realising that he needs to return to Androzani Minor to save Peri, the Doctor sabotages the ship he is captured inside and pilots it back. After dodging bullets and mud bursts, the Doctor makes it back to Jek and Peri. Jek says that the cure to Spectrox toxaemia is the milk of the Queen Bat, which can be found in the lower caverns. The Doctor goes down there and extracts a vile of the milk. He returns just as the army overrun Jek’s encampment. Morgus arrives and he and Jek fight to the death. The Doctor escapes the carnage, rescues Peri and heroically brings her back to the safety of the TARDIS. However, he only has enough antidote to cure her alone. So the Fifth Doctor regenerates… When the Fourteenth Doctor bi-generates in The Giggle, he says that it feels different this time which is exactly what the Fifth Doctor said in The Caves of Androzani before regenerating. I LOVE BOOBS! And I am sure that all fans of the ending of The Caves of Androzani will agree! I even once nicknamed one of my girlfriends as “Solid H” in reference to her bra size! I also have saved some girlfriends’ numbers in my phone as just “Boobs”. Often, a woman’s best quality is her bum or her boobs! And I love having one hand on the booty! Nicola Bryant looks damn fine in her stories!
The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe
★☆☆☆☆
TX: 25/12/2011
Written by Steven Moffat Directed by Farren Blackburn
On Christmas Eve 1941, a widow called Madge Arwell decides not to tell her two children that their RAF fighter pilot father Reg is dead, otherwise they will always associate that with Christmas. Madge and the two children spend Christmas at a large old house. The meet the caretaker, the Doctor who shows them around and delights in his childish playthings. The son Cyril finds a Christmas present which contains a portal to a wintery forest, in a manner similar to The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The Doctor shortly discovers Cyril’s absence and follows him with Lily; they eventually track Cyril to a strange lighthouse-like structure. Madge, finding her children missing, soon follows them into the forest, but is met by three miners in space suits from Androzani Major. The miners tell Madge that the forest of the planet they are on is scheduled to be melted by acid rain within minutes, killing anything within it. At the lighthouse, Cyril is met by a humanoid creature made of wood; it places a simple band of metal around his head like a crown. Lily and the Doctor arrive, followed by another wood creature, but find the creatures have rejected Cyril as he is “weak”, as they do the Doctor because they are both male. The Doctor concludes that the life forces of the trees in the forest are trying to escape through a living creature, with the crown acting as an interface. The Doctor mentions that Jabe, a member of the Forest of Cheem, fancied him, which is a reference to The End of the World. Madge safely reunites with her children as the acid rain starts. The wood creatures identify her as “strong” because she is female, and the Doctor realises that they consider her the “mothership”, able to carry the life force safely. Donning the band, Madge absorbs the life force of the forest, allowing her to direct the top of the lighthouse as an escape pod away from the acid rain and into the time vortex. Reg’s plane follows the light of the pod through the time vortex and safely arrives outside the house at Christmas, reuniting Reg with his family. The life force of the forest have converted themselves to ethereal beings within the time vortex. The Doctor then reveals himself as the man Madge saved and thanks her formally and they bid each other farewell. Believing that Amy and Rory still think he is dead and encouraged by Madge, the Doctor joins them for Christmas dinner. The Doctor learns an important lesson about friendship from Amy and Rory. I have lots of friends and many people like me!
Chris Olsen's TARDIS 