Vampires are ghouls with fangs that drink blood, only emerge at night and cast no reflection. It is important to remember that Vampires are also vulnerable to garlic and they have to be invited in. Vampires exist in the myths and legends of most civilisations thanks to the existence of the Great Vampires, which once ran an almighty empire until they were wiped out by the Time Lords. The Doctor knows that it is his duty to destroy vampires whenever he encounters them throughout his travels in time and space in Doctor Who.

State of Decay

★★★★☆

TX: 22/11/1980 – 13/12/1980

Written by Terrance Dicks  Directed by Peter Moffatt

Still trapped in E-Space, the Fourth Doctor, Romana, K-9 and stowaway Adric find themselves on a feudal planet that lives in fear of the wasting and serves ‘the Three Who Rule’. These three are in fact the last of the Great Vampires and they have ruled over the planet for centuries since their spaceship crashed there. Zargo, Camilla, and Aukon—who dwell in a shadowy Tower. The Doctor and Romana discover evidence of advanced technology and wonder what happened to cause the planet to devolve to its current “state of decay”. After being taken prisoner by the three lords, the Doctor and Romana discover that the great Tower in which the Lords dwell is a spaceship called Hydrax, originally from Earth. The three lords are members of the original crew, mutated into vampires, while the subjects beneath them are the descendants of the other colonists, made dull and primitive by generations of breeding and oppression. Their names have gradually changed over the centuries in accordance with Grimm’s law of consonant shift. A rebel called Tarak infiltrates the Tower, freeing the Doctor and Romana. The Doctor returns to the TARDIS, while Romana stays with Tarak to search for Adric. They find Adric in a state of trance. Zargo and Camilla attack them, but Aukon compels them to stop. He wants Adric as a Chosen One and Romana, a Time Lord, for sacrifice at the Arising, the first taste of revenge for their master, the “Great One.” In the TARDIS the Doctor discovers that the Great Vampires could only be defeated using specially designed ships which fired steel bolts that speared the monsters through the heart. Deep within the tower, he finds the last Great Vampire, about to be revived. The Doctor rigs one of the spaceship’s old scout ships to launch and fall back toward the ground, driving itself into the heart of the subterranean Great One. With the Great One dispatched, the three vampire Lords crumble to dust. The Doctor finds Romana and Adric and they leave the planet, hoping it will develop once again toward its former advanced state.

The Curse of Fenric

★★★★★

TX: 25/10/1989 – 15/11/1989

Written by Ian Briggs  Directed by Nicholas Mallett

The Seventh Doctor and Ace arrive at a British army outpost on the coast during World War Two. The Doctor and Ace meet Dr Judson, a scientist who is the brains behind the Ultima machine – a revolutionary decoding device which Judson is using to decode German messages as well as Viking runes in the catacombs. The runes warn of Fenric, whom the Doctor recognizes as an ancient being that can control his “wolves”, individuals manipulated by his powers. A squad of Russian soldiers led by Captain Sorin arrive to steal the Ultima machine. The Doctor is shown by Commander Millington that the British have developed a nerve agent that they intend to use against the Nazis. The coastal town is beset with legends about vampires, which start to become true when a couple of evacuee girls from London become vampires after swimming in the water. The vampires are in fact Haemovores, marine creatures that originate from a future Earth devastated by pollution.

Exploring the catacombs, the Doctor and Ace find a glowing Oriental vase among the Viking treasures, which is confiscated by the base commander Millington and given to Judson to study. As Judson places it within Ultima, he is struck by electricity and taken over by the spirit of Fenric. Fenric calls out to the Ancient One, a Haemovore in the nearby sea, who leads an army of Haemovores to attack the base and local residents, turning them into Haemovores. Ace warns Kathleen, a WRNS, to escape with her newborn child, Audrey. The Doctor sets up a chess problem, hoping to distract Fenric long enough to find a permanent solution to stop him. Sorin arrives and tries to kill Fenric but learns he is one of his wolves, a descendant of the Vikings that brought the Oriental vase here. Ace arrives, sees Sorin studying the chessboard, and offers the solution. The Doctor arrives too late as Sorin reveals himself as Fenric, commanding the Ancient One to attack the Doctor. A psychic barrier created by Ace’s trust in the Doctor stops the Haemovore. Fenric tells Ace she is one of his wolves, having created the time storm that took her to Iceworld to meet the Doctor, and she furthered her own cycle by making sure Audrey, her mother, was safe. Ace’s faith in the Doctor is shattered but, instead of attacking, the Ancient One grabs Fenric and takes him into the gas chamber and sets it aflame. The Doctor and Ace flee the base before it explodes, killing Fenric and the Ancient One and ending the Haemovore threat. Ace takes a moment to contemplate why she hates her mother and to celebrate overcoming her irrational fear of the water, before she and the Doctor depart.

Smith and Jones

★★☆☆☆

TX: 31/03/2007

Written by Russell T Davies  Directed by Charles Palmer

Having checked into a London hospital in order to do some undercover investigation, the Tenth Doctor meets his new companion, medical student Martha Jones. However, the meeting is promptly interrupted by the entire hospital, along with its staff and patients, being transported to the Moon. The rhinoceros-like Judoon, an intergalactic police force for hire, has moved the hospital to a place of neutral jurisdiction in their search for a blood-sucking criminal, a Plasmavore. The Doctor allows the Plasmavore called Mrs Finnegan to drink his own blood so she registers as non-human on the Judoon’s scanners, allowing them to find and execute their wanted murderer. The Judoon return the hospital to Earth just before the air supply runs out. Back on Earth, Martha Jones discovers that her adventures with the Doctor have only just begun.

I wrote a Doctor Who short story that got published in an anthology. It was based on a scene in Smith and Jones where the Doctor name drops that he met Benjamin Franklin:

The Vampires of Venice

★★★★☆

TX: 08/05/2010

Written by Toby Whithouse  Directed by Jonny Campbell

The Eleventh Doctor takes his engaged companions Amy and Rory on a date to Venice, 1580. Personally, I would just use Tinder or Hinge! Incidentally, over 200 women have offered me sex on the dating apps over the years. I have a ball gag and I like asking women to wear it. I normally tell women that they are not allowed to cum during sex. I love to play with women’s nipples in order to crank them up and make them more horny so that they are ready for sex. The time travellers discover that the local Calvierri boarding school is enrolling young women so that they can be turned into vampires. I was privately educated, however I now believe that private education should be abolished. The sexy vampire girls confront the Doctor where he is terrified by their big teeth! Amy infiltrates the Calvierri school to rescue the daughter of Guido, a boat builder. Amy escapes before being turned into a vampire but they are too late to rescue Isabella, who is executed as a deserter. The Doctor confronts Rosanna Calvierri, the head of the school, who reveals that they are Saturnynians who have fled to Earth after their home planet was lost due to a crack in time. Rosanna says that there are ten thousand male Saturnynians in the water of the city, waiting to reproduce with the vampire girls she is creating. The Doctor vows to stop Rosanna and destroy the House of Calvierri. The vampire girls attack Guido’s house, but Guido blows them up with a tonne of gunpowder stock. Amy and Rory fight Rosanna Calvierri’s vampire son Francesco. Rosanna activates a device on the bell tower of the House of Calvierri that begins to create the earthquakes and floods that will sink Venice and make it habitable for the new race she is creating. But the Doctor climbs up the bell tower of the House of Calvierri in the middle of the storm and stops the device in time. One of my old girlfriends gave me a red bell which said ring for sex on it. This is one of many presents that I have received from my many girlfriends over the years. The last female of her kind, Rosanna throws herself into the canal to be eaten by the male offspring. Afterwards, Amy and the Doctor invite Rory to continue travelling with them, but as the Doctor and Rory are about to enter the TARDIS, everything falls silent.